It's all about the love

It's been about a week and a half since I've last written...and in that time I've been maid-of-honor at a friend's wedding, visited family, gone to a family graduation party, rallied friends for a roadtrip, worked my butt off, and drove 3 hours up to Mass. after work to stay for 11 hours total before driving 3 more hours back to NY for work the next morning. And all of this done in the name of love. Or for love, regarding love....it's all about the love.
I used to have this theory that if you took any action that a person has done that may seem wrong or evil or bad or whatever and explain it through love, it could help the world be a more understanding place. To define everything as being motivated by the love of something. For example, a person may steal to feed their family whom they love. Obviously the morals and ideas get warped along the way, and the more horrible the crime, the harder it is to make the connection, but I tried anyway. I also try to believe that everyone is good at heart and to love everyone...but lately...well...I'm begninning to doubt these things.
There's so much in this world that is just so fucked up....can I write fuck here? I don't know...but whatever, it's true. Everyday I hear another story of some weirdo doing some heinous act, or not even that extreme, just some damned rude lady at the cab company talking to me like I'm some bane to her existence when all I was doing was ordering a taxi....
Or people that lie and care nothing for anyone else but themselves, satisfying their immediate primal urges in whatever quick and easy way they can, regardless of how much it may hurt another human being. - It's things like this that make me wonder...maybe we aren't all good at heart, maybe evil is a true and real thing that exists, that pulses and breathes within the hearts of some. I've heard evil described as an absence of God...and I like this definition because I've always defined God as Love. An absence of love... it's kind of like how hate is not the opposite of love, but apathy is. How most people feel the strongest hate only for people they have loved, but the worst hurt is done when you couldn't care less about someone. Why bad attention is better than none at all. Evil is the void created in a person's heart when there's nothing left to love. I think the Cherokee refer to it as a "hickory nut spirit." When a person's soul is so small from lack of use that it won't survive another incarnation...but while living in this life they cause so much pain and destruction in the world.

But in the meantime there is family, and friends, and trees, beautiful green lush trees on a sunny midsummer day, and there are people, thousands of people, struggling to be heard, to be seen, to be understood, because they do love, they still love despite the weight of the world's problems pressing down upon us, despite the hypocrisies and facades that are forced into our psyche, dementing our concept of truth and beauty....they still love. It is to all those people I reach out, and if we all reach out together, just enough, I'm sure we'll meet somewhere in the middle, and the strength of our combined lights will obliterate the darkness in the souls of all the rest.

For those of you who do not know, this is a year of transformation...it's a hard thing to do...letting go of past ideas of self, to make room for newer ones. Rebirth is a wonderful thing...but you gotta withstand the flames first. Here's to reaching...may it not be in vain...